'The blog that President Kennedy read on Air Force One'

RELEASE: IMMEDIATELY

CONTACT:
Bonch “Gupta” Choader
0-212-5185-5465

Howlin’ Leroy Eenk to Resume Publishing ‘Soon,’ CEO Says

NEW YORK —The trusty periodical that has graced the computer-like devices of America’s intelligentsia since 1873 and had its assets liquidated Tuesday, Howlin’ Leroy Eenk, will resume publication, Overlord Holdings CEO Jimmy Tickles said Tuesday.

“No longer will Howlin’ Leroy Eenk cavort in the filth, no more payola, no more advertisers running editorial meetings, no more stuffing stories with the God damn Unibomber manifesto,” Tickles said. “We’re going to have a nice, family publication. Real gentry-like, see?”

The publication had been known as the blog that President Kennedy read on Air Force One. Then there is the chestnut about Jean Paul Sartre crying himself to sleep when he got his rejection letter. Howlin’ Leroy Eenk was at the top of the beltway game, proud, like an eagle, or a wise and colorful parrot with an unusually large repertoire of racial pejoratives, preening in a cage lined with the New York Times.

Though once proud, the historic publication fell into disrepair after years of staff members using and manufacturing illegal substances. Improvements were made, efficiencies implemented, but once the Democrats took Congress last November, the sordid tale just got sordider. A flood of atheists, drugs and floozies washed over the east coast, then a mysterious fire at the New York bureau, and no one has been heard from since.

As in past instances, the virtual shutdown of the blog’s New York and Washington DC bureaus was not immediately noticed by the board for several months.

The exact date publication will resume will be decided during a fight to the death of a lion and a cougar, Tickles said, noting that cougars are also called lions. The location of the death match cannot be disclosed for personnel reasons.

The regular staff writers who kept Howlin’ Leroy Eenk readers informed with the latest developments of the day, using only the latest in sexiness and reporting technology, cannot be located. These former employees still owe Overlord Holdings for the copper wire they stripped form the walls. Local law enforcement agencies have applied for arrest warrants.

In the place of reporters Dolores Hazen and Lance Carbunckle, critic Bonita Applebaum, Executive Editor/Communications Director Bonch Choader, and the World-Famous Howlin’ Leroy Eenk Editorial Board featuring Hal Grundine, Overlord Holdings contracted with a firm based in Bangladesh that provides news and opinion-like content.

Steps were taken to commence reimbursement of the local government agency that dealt with the New York bureau.

Who's a Good Boy?

"A public session of mutual appreciation."

A National Public Radio reporter describing Britain's Tony Blair making his farewell visit with U.S. President George Bush before Blair steps down as prime minister. May 17, 2005