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Howlin’ Leroy Eenk To Coin New Marketing Slogan

NEW YORK — Members of a subcommittee formed by Overlord Holdings, Inc. CEO Jimmy Tickles and tasked with reinvigorating the flagging Howlin’ Leroy Eenk marketing department voted Thursday to begin the search for a new advertising theme.

The fixture of the American political scene since there has been a political scene, Howlin’ Leroy Eenk boasts more top shelf journalism awards and commendations from local chambers of commerce than all of the country’s other 86 remaining daily newspapers combined. But since being rocked by allegations of mismanagement, ethical violations, substance abuse, sexual harassment and plagiarism, the mighty oak in the forest of news gathering organizations has grown sickly and hollow.

The staff are missing and presumed dead, the historic building a block from the Capitol where Howlin’ Leroy Eenk kept its editorial office declared a health hazard by the city on Wednesday.

“Only a whip-smart, ironic, dazzling slogan is going breathe life into this sad sack,” Tickles said after the committee’s decision. “And if this committee doesn’t produce that slogan, I will feed them to my menagerie of exotic pets.”

Since World War II, the blog used slogans coined by longtime assistant metro editor, Danforth O’Flanagan:

New York Intellectuals Read It!

and

If you can read, you should read Howlin’ Leroy Eenk!

During the go-go 1980s, the marketing department, then headed by a mysterious stranger who wore a black cape and talked to a mouse kept hidden in his vest pocket, took a turn toward the hard sell with:

You fucking jackoff, read Howlin’ Leroy Eenk!

During the 1990s, as senior editorial department employees in supervisory roles began manufacturing controlled substances, standards dropped, along with circulation, and a contracted firm of white, 13-year-old Internet ventrue capitalists came up with:

Bitches Be Loving a Learned Motherfucker! Read HLE!

A date for printing the first issue after remounting the helm on the black-flagged ship of journalism has not been set.